embracing my (not-so-)inner "jeek"

This may or may not be true, so don't quote me on this or get angry if I am sharing something false with you, but I believe that in Spanish, geek is pronounced like "jeek." It is what I think I heard on a Spanish listening assignment, about los 'jeeks' :)

On this note, Tuesdays and Thursdays are two of my favorite days of the week. No, this is not because I prefer the letter T, or because they are the even-numbered days of the week. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my 2 favorite days because my favorite classes meet on those two days--hence the full-out embrace of my geek(jeek)iness!

A huge reason why I decided to study abroad was to have a different learning experience. The moment I decided that I still wanted to study abroad was when I realized how much the environment at Columbia was getting to me, whether or not I was actively participating in it or not.
I wasn't sure if coming to Barcelona would provide me with that opportunity to break free of the traditional university setting and learn without the pressure or having to make a certain grade. Well, the grade thing was already set in stone before I came because Barnard does not count any study abroad grades towards my GPA. I had been looking at SIT programs in Latin America because their programs are known for their hands-on experience. I wasn't sure if Barcelona would offer the same type of experience because it involves taking classes at a university in a developed city, which didn't sound too different from my classes at Barnard and Columbia. But I honestly have not been this excited about learning since high school, and I think that my attitude towards my education exceeds even that which I had before college.

I never realized how much my high school education has affected my relationship with academics and my own personal learning experience. I was a member of this alternative, democratic program called School-Within-a-School (SWS) which focused on making the student's voice heard in his/her academics, and on developing a more personal relationship with the teacher. We called our teachers by their first names, had Town Hall meetings every Tuesday to discuss the academic and administrative policies, could excuse ourselves from class a certain amount of times each semester, and had smaller, seminar-styled classes with names like "Creative Non-Fiction" and "Education" and "Individuals and Institutions". Anyway, I just decided to write an email to my high school English teacher because the last time I felt such a thrill to learn was in her classes, and I think part of my perspective on academics and education were defintely affected by her teaching.
But honestly, I don't remember the last time that I looked forward to going to class and being rewarded by my expectations in this manner. The approachability of the professors here reminds me of the relationships I had with my SWS teachers. They welcome questions and encourage me to think more deeply about what we're learning. My classes and coursework are challenging but not heavy or pressure-filled, and I feel genuinely interested in the subjects which are relevant to the world around me. I can make connections between the texts and my cultural interactions--this value for such tangibility between my education and my life was definitely developed in my SWS classes. The whole "grades don't count" thing guarantee that the threat of such pressure cannot even come close to being legitimate. I remember my high school guidance counselor, Ellen (who is a Barnard alum!), actually discouraging me from taking too many AP classes during my senior year, modeling an academic value system that completely went against the overachieving grain that I was so used to.

This overachieving track was stifling me at Columbia, not just by the professors, but also by most of the students around me. Being easily affected by my surroundings didn't help very much because I was constantly comparing myself to all the other overachieving students who actually had something to show for their achievement. I have certainly met students here who also share the same love and value for education, but there is certainly more of a diversity of thought and dedication for it, which makes me feel like there is more space for me to develop my understanding without being scared of being wrong all the time.

It is just so interesting to think about this, because what kind of person leaves an Ivy League academic environment to go to Spain, only to be excited by learning for the first time in a long time? De verdad, yo soy rara.

Every day I am still amazed by where I am and how I got here, and I am still so excited to see where God will lead me next!